If You Can't Grow It, Sew It!

Surprise! I’m not the only person who covers my hair at work! I was doing a classroom observation in an English class last week, and a student was reading his poetry to the class. He started to read the poem, which began “If you can’t grow it, sew it…” Yep, he wrote a poem about hair weaves! Unfortunately, that’s the only part of the poem I can remember because me and the rest of the class were laughing very hard through the rest of it! So, yes, a lot of students, teachers, and staff at my school wear weaves in their hair. Granted, I cover my hair for religious reasons and I believe weaves are more for fashion reasons, but there’s something humorous about sitting in an IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting with a mother also covering her hair!

And, surprise! I’m also not the only person who wears skirts every day. I noticed a teacher who also wears skirts, so I finally asked her about it one day. Her response was beautiful. She said that once her kids became teenagers, she realized that she wanted to be a good role model for them and she began wearing skirts and dressing more modestly. She then asked me why I wear skits, and I explained that I’m Jewish and it’s part of being modest. She asked if I’m Orthodox, and when I said that I am, she told me that she really respects that.

Today is the last day of work before Winter Break! I remember loving this day when I was in middle and high school. Everyone is in such a great mood! And I still love this day! My co-workers got me such thoughtful gifts! HATS! How perfect is that?! And CHOCOLATE...they even made sure it was kosher! And I've wanted a plant in my office for awhile, so the transition specialist surprised me with one! I hope I don't kill it...


Have a great weekend, everyone!

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Change Is The Only Constant

Change is hard for me. Some people like it. Not me. So, when I found out over the summer that I was being assigned to a new high school for this school year, I was not happy. If you remember my previous blog posts (I know, I know, it’s been awhile…thanks to all the people who encouraged me to post again!), I LOVED the last last high school where I worked.

Fast forward a few months to today, when I’ve been at my school for a few months, and I LOVE it here, too. I’ve met a new group of amazing coworkers. We have lunch breaks filled with laughter, and we’re even going to start walking during our breaks (finding time to exercise with a 70 mile commute to work is challenging!) Plus, I still keep in touch with the wonderful people I worked with at my last school.

And, of course, with a new high school, comes new people filled with new questions and comments about my hair covering. Here’s a recent one.

Student: “You always wrap your hair, huh?”

Me: “Yep”

Student: “To keep it warm?”

Me: “Yep, now keep working.”  (I was in the middle of giving him a timed assessment, so I had to redirect him back to the task!)

I’ve realized that there really is a lot of change in our lives, and how much the word “change” is used:

Driving to work today stuck behind a slow car, I think, “That car needs to CHANGE to the slow lane!”

The Daylight Savings Time CHANGE coming up (Hopefully this helps with how dark it is when I leave at 6 am…it feels like the middle of the night!)

Another change in my life: I used to watch the sunsets over the ocean in college (perks of going to college on the beach, UCSB, represent!) Now I watch the sunrise over the desert on the way to work, like this one:

Common thread: G-d is behind all of these changes and knows what’s best for me. I reminded myself this when I found out about my school change, but it was still hard. Thank you, G-d, for giving me a reminder that everything really is for the best. And, when my next life change comes up, I’m going to read this blog post as a reminder to myself that this, too, is for the best!

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Hair Covering, The Super Bowl, and Kosher Pizza

Student:  Why do you always wear that bandana on your head?

Me: Because I like it. 

Student: Have you always done that?

Me: No. I started after I got married. 

Student: Okay, that sounds really bad. You got married and now no one can see your hair?

Alright, I clearly need to work on a better explanation for students as to why I cover my hair! Suggestions, anyone?!

That same student also asked me how long my hair is because I have a really big bump under my hat!

As you can see, work continues to be an ongoing discussion about why I cover my hair, complete with hilarious questions and comments!

And I continue to be so thankful about the people I work with. My husband and I decided to go to one of my co-worker’s house to watch the Super Bowl. The week before the game, my coworker asked me what food he can provide that is kosher. He asked if chips are kosher, and I told him a lot of them are. He then said, “Oh yeah! I just have to look for the special symbol!”

As the week went on, a teacher who was also going to be at the party said he was going to bring a beef brisket. He said that he was going to bring pork chops, but he knew that my husband and I were going to be there. Since we’re Jewish, he knew that Jewish people can’t eat pork. I was so touched that he went the extra effort and was thinking about us. I then had to explain that we also can’t eat the beef brisket because the particular beef brisket isn’t kosher. 

My husband and I picked up some kosher pizza on the way to the party, and it was a huge hit! People kept asking us where we got it from. We happily told them that we got it from a kosher pizza shop near our place.

Yesterday, I came into work and the secretary said to me, “I made you a scone, but I’m not sure if you can eat it. I’m not sure how to ask you this, but is it kosher?” I thanked her so much for thinking of me, but explained that I couldn’t eat it.

Yes, it’s sometimes awkward having to decline food that people have made for me and to explain why I can’t eat certain things. But I feel so blessed to have my connection to G-d and my religion to help me do it!

Oh, and I thought that a picture of my stress ball and random toy collection that I have for my students to use would be appropriate for this post since I have a football stress ball and I talked about the Super Bowl! Thanks to my friend who gave me the football stress ball! I’m sure some other people will recognize other random things that they gave me or bought with me. I love my random collection!

Life Is Like A Fish Spa

Being back at work after being in Israel for two weeks is not easy! The trip was amazing, and it's been so fun sharing my experiences with  coworkers. Reflecting back on my two weeks in this beautiful country has led me to sum up a somewhat hilarious and random common thread to the trip: fish! Let me explain...

First encounter with fish was our delicious dinner in Tiberias. Look how yummy!

Next fish encounter: snorkeling in Eilat.  We saw so many beautiful fish and sea creatures! It was also a hilarious moment because the hair covering that I was wearing while snorkeling fell off, so I quickly dunked under the water to put it back on! I had unfortunately left the usual hair covering I wear when I go swimming in the hotel where we stayed in Tiberias, so I tried a new one that clearly did not work!

Fish encounter number three: Fish spa! I have never head of this, but apparently some of my friends have. What is a fish spa? You put your feet in a tank of fish, and the fish "clean" your feet by eating your dead skin. My initial reaction was, "That's SO gross! No way!" But, by the third time we saw it, we gave in and tried it. This is our feet in the fish spa:

And, in the end, our feet felt so smooth and nice! We were so happy we did it! Okay, corny alert! But I'm always looking for meanings of things in my life. So, from the fish spa, I learned: Life is like a fish spa. Sometimes we have to get our feet wet in order to see the rewards.

And, how appropriate that fish was the theme of our trip. In Judaism, it is customary to eat fish on Friday night for many reasons. One of my favorite reasons is because fish don't have eyelids, so they never close their eyes. This can be compared to G-d, whose eyes are always watching out for us.

Of course, I bought tons of new head coverings in Israel that I'm so excited about! One of my new favorites is a yellow hat that I'm especially excited to wear to work. Every Friday at work is school spirit day. I SO appreciate not having to think about what to wear to work on Fridays.  I just wear one of the school's shirts that I've bough from the student store, and I'm good to go! Since once of our school colors is yellow, the hat is perfect for my Friday outfit! 

There are definitely benefits to being back at work. It's good to see my students again. I'm very aware that some students come to see me to get out of being in class. I can tell when students are trying to stall going back to class. This week, a student asked me, "So, what are you doing for Chanukah next year?" I laughed, told him it is still almost a year away, and wrote him a pass back to class.

I will be the first to admit that change is hard for me. But, I'm going to try to internalize my lesson from the fish spa and get my feet wet!

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Elevating the Ordinary

Last week, I walked out of my office, saw a rainbow (picture above), and said the bracha you're supposed to say when you see a rainbow. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time a bracha has been made over a rainbow at the school where I work. I can look at the things in life as physical things without a spiritual component, or I can attempt to use the physical things in my surroundings as a way to bring G-dliness down to our physical world. When I said a bracha over the rainbow, the pavement I stood on as I said it took on a different, spiritual state. The pavement wasn't just pavement. It was a phsyical thing allowing me to do a mitzvah.

Speaking of the spiritual, my husband and I are going to Israel for a couple weeks! Even though I know that Israel is a place visited by people of all religions, I think of it as a Jewish place. But, when coworkers have asked me what I'm doing over break and I say I'm going to Israel, one person said, "Oh, so you're going for Xmas?" In another situation, I was answering a coworkers question about why I cover my hair. I also said that I'm going to Israel over break, and I'm excited to buy some new hair coverings there, since I've heard they have some great ones. She asked me, "So, what religion is that?"I told her I cover my hair and that I'm going to Israel, but she still didn't assume I was Jewish. I liked that! I like that people perceive Israel as an inclusive place where people of all religions can go.

We got a new secretary at work. With all new co-workers, the conversations about why I cover my hair and what kosher means have begun. One question I loved was, "So, since you're Jewish, does your husband have a long beard?" I explained that he doesn't.

So, me and my non-bearded husband are off to Israel! Can't wait to share my experiences with you when I return! And, if you have any prayers you wish for me to say in Israel, please feel free to let me know!

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T.G.I. Shabbat

TGIF! In the winter, Friday's can get stressful at work. Since I live about an hour away from work, and since Shabbat starts pretty early in the winter, I have to leave work especially early on Fridays. (For my readers unaware about Shabbat: there's certain things we don't do on Shabbat, and one of them includes driving. If you're interested, you can read more here). I am so thankful for an understanding work environment and coworkers who cover for my workload on Friday afternoons.

One Wednesday at work, I was talking to the other school psychologist about a meeting I had scheduled at 3:00. He said,  "3:00? Isn't that too late?! You won't be home on time before it gets dark." And then he said, "Oh wait. It's not Friday. I'm still trying to figure out all of the Jew times. But if you had to be home every night before it got dark, that would be a problem, wouldn't it?"

During Chanukah, a lot of my coworkers said to me at the end of the day, "The sun is setting! Don't you have to leave?" I explained the reasons why I didn't have to leave early on Chanukah, and I thanked G-d for the amazing work environment I have.'

A group of school psychologists often meet up on Friday afternoons. They know I can't join them at this time of the year. One Friday, I got the following text message picture from one of them:

As we plan for next semester, one of the teachers in the program for students with Emotional Disturbance said to me, "I would love for you to do a cooking presentation on kosher food with my students next year." He explained to me that he wants to teach his students about different cultures, and it would be really good for them to hear about keeping kosher. He is going to work on preparing a lesson in advance of me coming. He then said, "And I want to hear, too!" He went on to explain that he is Seventh Day Adventist, and he told me some similarities about Judaism and Seventh Day Adventist that I was not aware of. 

When I started covering my hair, I was expecting a few comments here and there. I was not expecting to be asked to give a cooking demonstration to a group of students who may have never even heard the term "kosher." But I am so honored and blessed to have this opportunity to be a kiddush Hashem. As I said in a previous blog post, I am going to take this as an opportunity to elevate the place where I work. 

Have a great weekend, everyone, and Shabbat Shalom to those who are celebrating!

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Mindfulness: Living in the Present

I was asked to give a presentation at work about using mindfulness in schools. I love incorporating mindfulness into my work as a school psychologist. I've presented on this topic a few times before, but this is my first time presenting since I started covering my hair. Also, my audience would be a nearby school district where I don't work, so it's a group of people I haven't met before. As I was getting ready this morning, I was trying to find a hair covering to wear that would look professional and appropriate for the presentation. I tried one on and asked my husband if it matches. He said it didn't, but he said he thought I have another one that would match. I told him I wore that one yesterday. He said, "So what?" I said, "I can't wear the same hair covering two days in a row!" My husband laughed and said, "You have to put that comment in your blog!"

So what is mindfulness? Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment and being aware of everything that is happening in that moment. Mindfulness can be done through explicit practices such as meditation and yoga. Mindfulness can also be done in a less explicit way, such as adopting a generally mindful approach to life and applying the principles and techniques of mindfulness to daily activities. For example, have you ever noticed that you drive from point A to point B, but don't remember actually driving there? You can try a mindful approach to driving, such as noticing everything while you drive. Notice the feeling of the steering wheel in your hands. Notice the feel of the car chair that you're sitting on. This allows us to be present in the moment rather than worrying and thinking about all of the things we have to do later that day. Why is mindfulness important? Because it helps us slow down and enjoy life. It helps with feelings of anxiety, which can then turn to feelings of depression. If you're interested in learning more about mindfulness, I recommended checking out  UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center

I was first introduced to mindfulness in graduate school when I took a course in it offered through the health center. Since then, I try to incorporate mindfulness into my daily life. I tend to walk around the school where I work very fast because I'm so busy. One student always used to say, "Where are you off to so fast?" I now try to walk in a mindful way. I pay attention to the feeling of the pavement under my feet. I also try to be mindful and not get too irritated as I drive into the school parking lot along with the 16 year old high school students driving their cars, which can sometimes be a scary driving experience!

A very memorable mindfulness experience was a five day mindfulness retreat I went to in New Mexico at Vallecitos Mountain Ranch. The retreat was a silent retreat, so I had the chance to be with my thoughts and practice mindfulness in a beautiful environment. And, because it was silent, I got some interesting looks about the kosher food I brought along, but no one was able to ask me about it  until the retreat ended!  The picture included in this post is from that retreat. And I have a poster of Vallecitos Mountain Ranch in my office as a daily reminder to focus on the present.

May we all be able to enjoy the moments in our lives in a mindful way!