There is no such thing as coincidence. G-d puts things in
my life for a reason. My sister keeps telling me to write so I can inspire
others. My friends laugh when I tell them stories about comments I get at work.
I thought about writing, but I never did it. Until today at work when I got
three comments about my tichel (hair covering) within 15 minutes. It was no
coincidence. It was material for my first blog post. So, here I am.
Thank G-d, I got married about four months ago. After I
got married, I started covering my hair in accordance with Jewish law. I cover
my hair with scarves, tichels, and hats rather than with a wig. I had been
working at my job for about two years before I got married. So when I walked
into work with my hair covered, it was very obvious.
I work as a school psychologist in a high school about 70
miles outside of Los Angeles. Even though it’s only 70 miles, those miles are
enough to have essentially no Jewish community. So people are not aware that
Jewish women cover their hair when they get married. The school where I work
has about 3,200 students and a large staff of teachers, administrators, secretaries,
maintenance staff, security, etc. Most of these people had no idea why I was
now covering my hair.
Within the first few days of covering my hair, I told my
coworkers who I have the most interaction with the reason why I now covering my
hair. Then the questions and comments started from the rest of the staff and
students. And I loved all of them!
One teacher I work with said to me, “I googled it and
figured out why you cover your hair. That’s so interesting.” One secretary told me that I do such a good
job of matching my hair coverings to my outfits and then asked me why I’m now
covering my hair. I explained that a Jewish woman’s hair takes on a different,
spiritual state after she gets married. And that my husband sees my hair, so it
is special for him. She responded by saying, “Wow. I just got goose bumps.”
There were a lot of questions from students. I wasn’t
sure how to handle this because I try to keep a boundary between details of my
personal life and the students I work with. Most of the time my answer was,
“It’s my new look.” A few of my students weren’t satisfied with this answer.
After a meeting with a student and a parent, the student came into my office
and said, “Me and my mom really want to know why you’re covering your hair now.”
So I told her.
Students must have been asking their teachers, too.
Because one of my student’s came in and said to me, “My teacher said you’re
Jewish so that’s why you cover your hair.” So much for boundaries! But I don’t
mind. I just said “yes” and continued with the counseling session.
As I said earlier, nothing is a coincidence. When I
started this job over two years ago, I was frustrated about my long commute and
not being able to find a closer job. Before I started covering my hair, most of
the school staff didn’t know I was Jewish (except for the few who figured it
out after I wasn’t at work for so many days during the beginning of the year
because of the holidays). But, now that I cover my hair, people have asked
questions and now know that I’m Jewish. Now I realize some of the reasons why I
have this job.
G-d has given me the opportunity to be a Kiddush Hashem;
to represent Jewish people in a positive light. I’m the first Jewish person
some of these students have ever met. I might be the first Jewish person some
of my coworkers have close interaction with. Today, a student said to me, “How
was your Hannukah? I didn’t know you were Jewish.” I told him I had a good
Hannukah and asked him how he found out that I’m Jewish. He said, “My teacher
told me. She said, ‘Why do you think she wears that thing on her head?’ ” The
student then told me that he used to make “Jew jokes”, but he isn’t going to
anymore because now he’s actually met a Jew. He then asked me if I have
ancestors who died in the Holocaust.
And, more than that, G-d has given me the opportunity to
elevate the places where I work. Before me, I wonder if anyone ever said a
bracha over food on the school campus. Before me, I wonder if anyone ever
listened to Torah classes or read Jewish articles (which I sometimes do during
my lunch break). Through the brachot I say and the words of Torah I read and
listen to, the space where I work is becoming a space where G-d’s presence now
exists.
I am so thankful that, in this life situation, G-d has
led me to be able to see some of the reasons why I have such a long commute to
work. I just wish I could see the reasons for so many other things that happen.
I’m optimistic, though, that there is a reason, even though I may not always
understand or see it.